Psalm 127:3-4
3 Children are a heritage from the LORD,
offspring a reward from him.
4 Like arrows in the hands of a warrior
are children born in one’s youth.
5 Blessed is the man
whose quiver is full of them.
Missional has been a big buzz word in the evangelical community in the last several years. I think the view has lots of merit, obscured by lots of folks who have tried to be “missional” at the expense of the gospel.
But I read something a few weeks ago that challenged me. In a group study we’ve been going through, the story of Abraham was used as an example of being sent, which is essentially what being missional is. Living a “sent” life. The author said this:
“throughout Scriptures we see God calling his followers to live a life of “sentness.” Stability, social comfort, relational control, safety, success, respect, or clarity were not expected. People had to go purely out of obedience, a personal sense of calling, in faith, and simply because they loved God. Outcome didn’t matter; faithfulness did. […] in each of the letters from Paul we observe the early faith communities facing many tensions related to being sent. There’s no way to say it gently: spreading God’s blessing to the world does not come easy.”
While I am really jazzed about going through the study and hopefully coming out on the other side with deeper understanding and friendships, I confess that being missional terrifies me. I would much rather just go about my business, do my own projects, and have coffee with a close friend than go across the street and talk to a neighbor who is a complete stranger. In fact, my husband had to literally tell me to get up off the couch to go next door to talk to our neighbors, who were conveniently having a yard sale on the day that this whole topic of reaching out came up.
Chatting up strangers isn’t usually my idea of a good time – I am a stay at home mom, right? After reading this raw and motivating section, my first thought was: How does raising a family fit in with being missional? If I constantly have to remind myself to reach out, to bless others, to serve in ministry both in church and on the street, in order to fulfill the gospel, where does raising my son fit in? Do we simply drag him along to all of our help the homeless/Wednesday night church events? The last thing I want is for us to be there every time the doors are open onl to watch him reject what we believe.
When I read that passage I just felt like the work that I so earnestly feel God calling me to – be at home with my kids – somehow might not fit in with a missional faith. Can I raise a family and also be sent to the world?
Then I remembered what Doug said. A couple at our old church in Tampa had seven kids. Yep, seven. From 24 all the way to age 3. They are the butt of many jokes about inviting them over for dinner, and they have been known to make a few jokes themselves about baby number 8. They homeschool, raise chickens, do theater groups – the whole nine yards. Josh and I have been influenced by them in many little ways, conversations, just watching the godly young men and women that their children are, seeing that it can be done! And when Doug shared his testimony last year, he encouraged parents to not possess their children, but rather to remember the analogy about having a “quiver full.”
When his oldest daughter went to Alaska for the summer to work with kids at a Christian camp, he was sending her out to serve the Lord.
When his oldest son got married and worked as a nurse, he was sending him out to serve the Lord.
His kids weren’t his to possess. Rather, they were God’s children. He and his wife had been entrusted with them to care for them and bring them up to serve the Lord. That was part of their work in the kingdom. This is also my work in the kingdom.
As a parent, and especially as a mom, you are ‘sent’ first to your spouse and your kids. To demonstrate Christ to them as you serve (I’ve also been reading a lot of things on service lately…). Then all of you are sent to your community in the body of Christ and your community in the world. This includes your kids! They are arrows in your quiver, little disciples who the holy spirit can work through, whether they are 6 or 16 or 26.
I am a stay at home mom. And I have kingdom work. I am sent to my child. Our family is sent to the world.
What my days tend to look like… only I got a shower this day.
Note: I started writing this over a month ago, and even now as I post it, I must confess I feel like a big phony. I state things with confidence because I so earnestly need to believe them myself. But the truth is that I still grapple every day with what this mission really is, what it looks like in my life. Some days it looks like reading bible stories and making homemade dessert to go with dinner and getting my cleaning done and researching good deals on coupon websites. Other days it looks like holding greg and staring out the window together because I have tried to put him down three times and every time he screamed. And debating the deep things of life, like ‘does couponing really save more money?’ And ‘i hope I am getting enough calcium to keep feeding this little guy…’ All that to say, many times our daily work that we muddle about in, endlessly questioning, IS our kingdom work, pure and simple. I am pretty sure I fail every day to be Jesus in all his grace and love to my son, but it doesn’t mean I give up; rather I have to stop, ask God for forgiveness and more grace to deal appropriately with whatever we are facing. And that is what ‘sent-ness’ is today.
The Stay At Home Wife 